Become a Good Listener, It is a Lost Art

This new blog is for the feeding of the Body of Christ, the Church. It is meant to motivate, encourage, lift up and inspire Christian growth in Christ. It is about Transformation, Reconciliation and Glorification of God. It is not about any man or the doctrines of man.

As children of God, we must always strive to love one another, edify one another and even lay down our lives for one another. Pastors, are simply members of the Body, who are called by God to (1) dedicate themselves to the Word and to Prayer. There really is no number (2). You can best support your pastor by learning how to listen. He can best support you by learning how to listen. God can best support us all, as we learn to listen.

Yes, pastors have many duties and responsibilities, but it always comes back to the Word and Prayer. How can a pastor be effective at preaching if he isn't filling himself with the Word and then by Prayer, LISTENING for the voice of God?

How can a pastor feed God's sheep in other ways, such as visitation, counseling, teaching, encouraging, setting an example to follow, and loving everyone he meets, without filling himself with the Word and then by Prayer, LISTENING for the voice of God?

How can a pastor LISTEN to the people he is called to feed and reach for Christ, if he doesn't fill himself with the Word, then Pray and then wait before God to HEAR Him?

One of the greatest lessons we can learn , as we seek to draw closer to God, is to become good listeners!

If we can't listen to our Brothers and Sisters in the Body of Christ, how will we know how to encourage them? If we can't listen to the Lost, how will we know their hearts and see that they are lost?


If we can't LISTEN to the Lost or the Saved, how can we LISTEN to GOD!


Here are some truths about Listening;

• Listening is a lost art.

We are bombarded by so many images from television, computers, iPods, BlackBerrys, pagers, faxes,and junk mail, that we all have a form of attention deficient disorder. We've lost the art of concentrating our attention. If a television show doesn't grab our attention in the first two minutes, we pick up the remote and change channels. If we are listening to someone who doesn't get right to the point, we tune out.

This lost art of listening leaves an ever widening hole in our lives. It might take the form of a vague sense of discontent, sadness or deprivation, which can lead to depression. We don't know what's wrong or how to fix it.

We hurt each other unnecessarily by failing to acknowledge what the other person has to say.

• To listen well, we must forget ourselves and submit to the other person's need for attention.

 Often we don't hear what the speaker is saying because something in the speaker's message triggers an emotion in us that draws us into ourselves, rather than into the speaker. Hurt, anger, discouragement, disagreement, anxiety and other emotions cause misunderstandings and conflict.

To become better listeners, and to transform relationships, we must identify and harness the emotional triggers that generate anxiety and cause misunderstandings and conflicts.

I have noticed that my relationships cycle between closeness and distance and, even more important, how I could influence those cycles by the quality of my own  listening.

We can only hear God, through His Word, if we learn to do as Romans 8:1-3 instructs, ¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

Listening requires a sacrifice. Listening to our fellow man and listening to our God. Die to self, and you then can be transformed into a Good Listener. 

 

Here are a few suggestions to help you become a better listener;

• Learn the difference between listening and just taking turns talking

• Hear what people mean, not just what they say

• Learn to give support, not unwanted advice

• Reduce arguments by being an active listener

• Practice listening on someone you really dislike talking with. You just might find they have something worth hearing. You will also bless them by showing that you care.

If you are willing to make an effort and set your needs to one side for a time, you will become a good listener. Pastor's really need you to listen. They work hard to prepare a meal, you need to eat it.

* portions adapted from The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols, PhD.